The Suicide Saga
by G.O.D-Goddessofdeath
Summary: This is going to be a first in a line of suicides- Duo first (His POV) This is dedicated to my friend who recently commited suicide. We miss you down here, Claire. This is why this fic is so depressing- I still haven't moved on.
1. Shinigami's turn

This is a Deathfic, Death of a character, and Suicide fic. The poem belongs to me. I don't own Gundam Wing. This is going to be the first in a series of suicides by the G-boys. (The Suicide Saga)  
  
Shinigami's turn.  
  
  
  
Everywhere I go,  
  
I feel the chilin' cold breath of Death.  
  
And people fall before me, and after me as well,  
  
Fall to their knees, bowing to the God of Death, The Shinigami.  
  
The breath is cold,  
  
And sends shivers down my spine.  
  
But it is strangly pleasent,  
  
A part of me.  
  
Everywhere I go,  
  
I feel the chilin' cold breath of Death.  
  
And people fall before me, and after me as well,  
  
Fall to their knees, bowing to the God of Death, The Shinigami.  
  
For everytime anybody or anything dies,  
  
I feel bad and sad and mad,  
  
But somewhat happy and content and glad.  
  
Oh why?  
  
Everywhere I go,  
  
I feel the chilin' cold breath of Death.  
  
And people fall before me, and after me as well,  
  
Fall to their knees, bowing to the God of Death, The Shinigami.  
  
I know why now.  
  
God has doomed to walk the earth,  
  
As Death.  
  
I can not die.  
  
Just lead two lives.  
  
One-A happy-go-lucky teenager,  
  
Two-The God of Death, Shinigami.  
  
Everywhere I go,  
  
I feel the chilin' cold breath of Death.  
  
And people fall before me, and after me as well,  
  
Fall to their knees, bowing to the God of Death, The Shinigami.  
  
'So it has come to this,' I thought, staring down. 'I'm glad I left a note to Heero. He'll understand...........I hope....'  
  
I still didn't beleive it, I guess. My world was fine. The happiness I showed wasn't fake. But something inside made me do it. A fire. And the only way to kill it off was by putting water over it. And that was in suicide. Yeah, at first I controlled it by self-harm. But it made me distant from my friends. They noticed too much. And anyway, the fire didn't die, and I wasn't keeping up happiness. So I gave up. There I stood, taking the easy way out. This was the most difficult type of suicide. I could live, but be paralyzed or disabled for the rest of my life. And it wasn't see the blood, feel no pain, die suicide. It was leap off a tall building with the wind rushing past my ears, thinking back. Reconsendering, wanting to start again. But when you're flying though the air like that, you can't change your mind. So I did what I wanted to do before it happened;  
  
Told Heero that I loved him,  
  
Called Wufei Wufei for once,  
  
Paided Quarte back the money I owed him  
  
and gave Trowa a new hairstyle.  
  
'Goodbye, world! Here I'm come, Hell!' I yelled, defintly differnt from 'Jernomio!' And I died, on the concrete slabs below. I died smiling, and holding the Bible. 


	2. The Pefect Soldier's turn

This is a Deathfic, Death of a character, and Suicide fic. The poem belongs to me. I don't own Gundam Wing (or Titanc). This is going to be the seconed in a series of suicides by the G-boys. (The Suicide Saga)The suicides are unrealated.  
  
The Perfect Soldier's turn.  
  
When ever Earth is a battle-field,I will fight.  
  
I have no choice, I am a Warrior, a fighter.  
  
Perfect soldier.  
  
When there is peace I will die.  
  
No bullet can wound me,  
  
no spear in my side.  
  
When ever battles I will surive.  
  
I wish for peace.  
  
But I still fight.  
  
And fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight,  
  
till peace.  
  
And OZ is dead.  
  
And things are once again calm.  
  
Until then....................  
  
I WILL FIGHT!  
  
'So it has come to this,' I thought, sharping the blade. 'I'm glad I left a note to Duo. He'll understand............I hope.....'  
  
I still didn't believe it, I guess. But, I guess I had a reason. Being trained to kill isn't all it's cracked up to be. And even though the war is over, I can't shake those feelings of wanting to kill off. I still have no emitions. No tears fall now, for the world I am going to leave. This is the easiest way to give up. I know what to do. I've been self- harming for a little while now, but this time I'll cut so deep, I'll die without failer. When I see my blood, I smile. This is my sorry to all those I killed. But, before I died, I did some things;  
  
+ Told Duo I loved him,  
  
+ Trained with Wufei,  
  
+ Watched Titanc with Quarte,  
  
+ Helped Trowa show emitions for Quarte.  
  
I picked up the knife, and put it on skin. I cut deep, and didn't cry. I died almost straight away, smiling and holding my gun. 


	3. The Silencer's turn

This is a Deathfic, Death of a character, and Suicide fic. The poem belongs to me. I don't own Gundam Wing. This is going to be the third in a series of suicides by the G-boys. (The Suicide Saga)The suicides are unrealated  
  
The Silencer's turn.  
  
We all wear a mask.  
  
Some to hide love, or caring,  
  
some to hide breautality, or hatered.  
  
It is not a seen mask,  
  
but it is model by us as children.  
  
Any emtoinal pattens shape it,  
  
sometimes making us the oppisite to the real us.  
  
It hides real emtions,  
  
shadows us from the world.  
  
So it doesn't hurt so bad.  
  
Anymore.  
  
This mask sometimes comes off,  
  
and shows real emtion.  
  
But as soon as it is put back on,  
  
we're invisible.  
  
I wear the Tragic Clown mask,  
  
a star and a smile,  
  
but the other side is all bangs and frowns.  
  
But people only focus on the happy side,  
  
'cos that's the side of everything they want to see.  
  
I will slip my mask back on.  
  
Silently, sensitive, slowly.  
  
But life is tough.  
  
Remember thus.  
  
'So it has come to this,' I said, checking the drugs again, 'I'm glad I left a note to Quarte. He'll understand........I hope........'  
  
I still didn't beleive it, I guess. I don't really know if I had a reason. I mean, my past was terrible, but we shouldn't live in the past. I had quite a happy home, Quarte as my partner, and the circus as my job, but I kept having these dreams. Nightmeres, in fact. I was being hunted, like the animal I am. I killed so much, and these hands, well, they are unfit to even kill myself with. The past I had is filled with tears and blood-shead, and most are not mine. In fact, I couldn't even remember when I had emotions. I'm sure I did. I mean, I wasn't born without them. But, even though the War was over, I couldn't express feelings properly. I couldn't even properly express love for Quarte, or the love of my job. But before I killed myself, I showed little emotion over some tasks I had yet to finish;  
  
+ Told Quarte I love him,  
  
+ Gave Wufei a new weapon,  
  
+ Watched Saturday morning cartoons with Duo,  
  
+ And helped Heero express feelings for Duo.  
  
I picked up the drugs bottle, and tipped the pills down the back of my throat. I almost smilied as I began to throw-up, and then died a very painful death in my own filth, but I still smilied, holding my clown mask. 


	4. Little one's turn

This is a Deathfic, Death of a character, and Suicide fic. The poem belongs to me. I don't own Gundam Wing. This is going to be the fourth in a series of suicides by the G-boys. (The Suicide Saga)  
  
Little one's turn  
  
  
  
Bloom for spring,  
  
wither for summer,  
  
bulb in Autmn,  
  
bud in Winter.  
  
That's life;  
  
nothing last for ever.  
  
And, face it, who wants to last forever?  
  
You and me together.  
  
I'm withering now,  
  
as you slowly bloom.  
  
I'll be dead soon.  
  
Met you,  
  
hug you,  
  
tell you that I love you.  
  
You're in full bloom,  
  
as I lie dead on the floor.  
  
So it has come to this,' I thought, tighting the nose. 'I'm glad I left a note to Trowa. He'll understand...I hope....'  
  
I still didn't beleive it, I guess. I don't really know if I had a reason. Stress? I don't know. I had no motive. I was just tired of me, tired of life........My work was beginning to get to me. And then my sisters......died in that airoplane crash*.....and my father, commiting suicide.......I just couldn't wait until I naturally died. I don't want to be with them, so it's not a sense of longing........I'm sick of being able to see everyone and everything, but not being able to reach out and touch them.....Watching though double glazed glass.......But, now I will punch out, fight away from the group. I want to die. Everybody treats me like I'm a little snobby rich kid, but I'm not, so maybe this'll prove it.....even Quarte Rabarba Winner can kill, even if it's only himself. But, before I died, I wanted to make a mark on those I loved;  
  
+ Told Trowa I loved him,  
  
+ Helped Heero express emotions,  
  
+ Me and Wufei meditated together,  
  
+ And I gave Duo a life time worth of coffee.  
  
I gently slipped the noose round my neck, and pulled it tight. I smiled, staring down at the flower I was holding. It was to be the last thing I killed........  
  
I died, smiling, my fist tight with the flower in. It had been crushed, just like I had.............  
  
* I imagined all Quarte's sisters had died in a terrible airoplane crash for this. 


	5. Solitry Dragon's turn

This is a Deathfic, Death of a character, and Suicide fic. The poem belongs to me. I don't own Gundam Wing. This is going to be the fifth (and the last) in a series of suicides by the G-boys. (The Suicide Saga)The suicides are unrealated. This whole saga was dedicated to a friend who recently commited suicide. We all miss you here, Claire.  
  
The soiltry dragon's turn.  
  
It sat there.  
  
Shiny blade.  
  
Black handle.  
  
So tempting.  
  
I choke back a tear.  
  
So.  
  
It has come,  
  
to this.  
  
It sat there.  
  
Shiny blade.  
  
Black handle.  
  
So tempting.  
  
I place the blade,  
  
on my skin.  
  
No deep cut,  
  
at first.  
  
It sat there.  
  
Shiny blade.  
  
Black handle.  
  
So tempting.  
  
The blood flows free.  
  
All over the floor.  
  
It doesn't hurt,  
  
anymore.  
  
You & your friends,  
  
rush in.  
  
But it is too late.  
  
You cradle my body,  
  
telling by the blood that I am far gone.  
  
I speak my last words,  
  
'I love you.'  
  
And breath my last breath.  
  
It sat there.  
  
Shiny blade.  
  
Black handle.  
  
So tempting.  
  
'So it has come to this,' I said, checking the the bullets again, 'I'm glad I left a note to Sally. She'll understand........I hope........'  
  
I still didn't beleive it, I guess. I used to be with someone, and when she died, I was upset enough to do that......but then.......I don't know. My hands, they felt stained, and I hadn't granted justice, something I felt I was put on this earth to do. I felt alone. Really alone. I was depressed. I felt really weak, though. Killing yourself is one of the most weak things you can do, but it's also the most difficult. I had to think about my weapon. I chose a gun. It signfices a lot for me. But it was such a quick way.....I.........Before I died, though, I told some people some stuff.  
  
+ Told Sally I loved her,  
  
+ Dueled with Heero,  
  
+ Took Duo to the new theme park,  
  
+ Watched Trowa's circus performence  
  
+ and helped Quarte in the garden.  
  
I picked up the gun, and shot myself in the head, smashing my skull. I died smiling, holding my kanta. 


End file.
